Narrator: Today we join Maria and Lou, they have recently been drawn across time and space into another dimension known as Firetrap. This is the third day of their ordeal. Currently, Lou is the one driving and in a panic-ed state, has just run over the first of many cactus.
Narrator: Maria is standing up through a large hole in the roof of the van they are in, firing 2 pistols in the opposite direction of their escape. A very large creature is chasing them. The creature is moving through the sand as if it were a whale chasing them down in the open ocean.
Narrator: Maria hasn't eaten anything in three days. Lou has just realized he missed the due date on his water bill.
Maria: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING?
Lou: JUST KEEP SHOOTING, AIM FOR THE EYES!
Maria: ASK YOUR DAMN ... CYCLOTRON!
Vin: The creature currently giving chase is known to the people of Firetrap as a 'Sand Dragon'. Sand dragons are an ancient species, likely nearly as old as Firetrap itself. They cannot die, and they never sleep. This Sand Dragon appears to be corrupted. Caused by an unknown phenomenon, corrupted Sand Dragons slowly go mad and begin attacking anything not of their own species.
Narrator: Maria stops shooting.
Maria: TELL ME AGAIN, WHERE THE HELL ARE WE GOING?
Lou: AWAY FROM THAT THING!
Maria: LOU! WE HAVE BEEN RUNNING AROUND THIS SAND HOLE FOR THE LAST THREE DAYS, I'VE BEEN SHOT AT, EATEN, SPIT OUT, POISONED, KIDNAPPED, I'VE GOT SAND IN MY BUTT CRACK, AND WE ARE BEING CHASED BY AN IMMORTAL ... WORM!
Narrator: Maria picks up a long rifle from inside the van, aims, and fires, BOOM! The eye on the sand dragon bursts. The beast groans loudly in pain and immediately dives into the sand underneath it, Maria sits back down into the van.
Maria: Where the hell are we going?
Lou: Do I look like an interactive inter-dimensional road map, oh look, we're coming up on a Starbucks, you want anything?
Lou: I'm going forward, just going forward. Where do you think we should be going?
Maria: I don't have a freaking clue.
Lou: That makes two of us.
Vin: I know, we should continue to move away from the last point of contact with the corrupted Sand Dragon.
Maria: I didn't ask you Vin, and what do you think he is doing?
Lou: Is that a building in the distance?
Maria: Well, its either that, or a very square rock with lights on the inside.
Lou: You better hope its more than just a glowing rock, for both our sake, I think we're about ten minutes away.
Maria: Provided we don't get another visit from our dragon friend.
Vin: Sand Dragons do not keep friends.
Maria: Vin, I don't want to hear it right now.
Narrator: Maria slumps down in her chair and lets out an exhale of exhaustion and relief. She closes her eyes in an attempt to relax after what she has just endured.
Maria: Good driving.
Lou: Good shooting.
Maria: When we get out of this, I'm going to get you another van, this one has a big hole in the roof.
Lou: Damn, you know, it was almost paid off. Maybe the insurance will cover an act of god?
Maria: Its an act of worm, let me know when we get there.
Vin: It was a Sand Dragon, not a worm.
Maria: Have you ever been pushed out of a moving vehicle?